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Some touched into a very young place, recalling an early strategy to deal with the scary places of childhood. One brave dancer realized in this place of disappearing she could also see the feet of another dancer engaging with her…and in this observation, realized she was, in fact, not ‘disappeared’, not invisible, not inconsequential. She felt the reality that she takes up space, that she is real, that she was real all those years ago. Tears come… she realizes her relationship to disappearing has shifted… even if she can’t put more words to it than this in the moment…her felt realness is profound.
We play with the opposite of disappearing and the room shifts instantly…bigger, bolder, more powerful but also more forced movements begin to fill the space. There is an effort here…I wonder how this effort shows up in life as we ‘try’ to inhabit our lives. Later we talk about the transition zone between these two states of embodied awareness…disappearing and what ever the opposite of this is…and the difficulty of shifting from one to the other, and the richness and teaching of the potential awareness here.
Disappearing is a safe haven for some…a place of solace and seductive inner life, away from the pressures of the outside world…like a secret love affair.
Some sink into the sweet surrender of dissolving into the body and the dance, a familiar place they have practiced. That yummy goodness of softening your sense of Self and tapping into the energy field in, out and beyond the body…the experience of being danced, being the dance itself. Ahhhh….yes.
There is a softening in the room. A dropping in. There is a diffuseness in the body…the sense of being everywhere. Moving in the space between bodies, expanding beyond this one body. We become the body of the room and soften still.
We find the spaciousness and expansion in disappearing. We feel this teaching. There is no clutching here….no hiding or retreating. In fact, it is the opposite. There is a wealth here, a wholeness in this paradox. In our disappearing we feel our molecules ‘everywhere’…perhaps this is the solace I have been looking for as I begin to really realize I too will disappear. This body, this being…will disappear into what is next. I notice the little ways I do this in my every day life as one identity defuses into what is next, one image of Self softens and disburses as another takes shape. And then I find gratitude. Gratitude for the every day practice of living and disappearing and emerging …this intimate engagement with my limited time offer in this body and this life. And I understand the wisdom of the Bhutanese…5 times a day they contemplate death…5 times a day…these happiest people on the planet dance with their own disappearing and soften into the Now…and so we go…dancing…one foot and then the next… into our disappearing…and into the paradox and the Remedy emerges.
RemedyWave is an embodied awareness movement and dance practice. Classes and workshop schedule at www.RemedyWave.org